I knew I would lose you
by JamieBenny
Summary: Picks up at the end of the season finale. Beginning of a true triangle between Nick, Andy and Sam.


Nick sank into a chair on the edge of the hospital waiting room. He looked down at his hands. He sucked in a deep breath, and let his head drop back against the cool glass of the window behind him.

_There was no use denying it. He'd lost her. _

He fought against the rising swell of emotions within him, knowing that his eyes were likely betraying him already.

He considered leaving, but Nick just wasn't built that way. He was a soldier. He was loyal. He knew that Sam was a good cop. So, like every other member of the 15th division, he would hold vigil until Sam was out of the woods.

The news came around 3:30am. Sam's surgery was a success. He was weak and groggy, but awake. Andy rejoined the other officers in the waiting room a few minutes after the doctor had delivered the news. Tracy, Dov and Chris rushed towards her as she passed through the door. Nick used the distraction to exit unnoticed. He stole one last look, as he opened the glass door to the parking lot. Andy's face was puffy from crying, but she was filled with joy and relief. 'Even when she is a mess, she's beautiful,' Nick thought and then crossed the parking lot into the night.

* * *

Ollie was merciful. Nick and Andy hadn't been assigned together since the shooting. Nick wasn't sure what Oliver's true motivation was, knowing what good friends Ollie and Sam were. But, Nick was grateful nevertheless. He knew that his steely, calm facade would crumble if they were stuck in a car together.

She had tried to call three times. He sent it to voicemail every time. He wasn't ready for her to let him down easy. He wasn't ready to hear how she and Sam had always belonged together. He wasn't ready to hear how sorry she was.

After a week Andy gave up calling and sent a text:

_You know we need to talk. Please call me back. _

Nick replied:

_You can pick up your stuff after shift._

* * *

Nick was just stepping out of the shower when he heard a knock at the door.

It had been a tough shift. Nick had taken several hard punches to his back and kidneys from a gangbanger who had resisted arrest. He had inspected the damage before hopping into the shower. He could see three or four distinct purple areas emerging. '_Perfect. I'm going to look like a dairy cow. Awesome,' _he had quipped sarcastically to his reflection. Thankfully, the long, hot shower had helped clear his mind and soothe the soreness.

The visitor knocked again.

"_One minute," _Nick yelled, as he scrambled to pull on some pants. He grabbed a hoodie and rushed to the door. He had been so distracted by the events of the day that he had totally forgotten about his text to Andy.

"_Sorry, I was just..."_ Nick stopped mid-sentence when he saw Andy on the other side of the door.

Andy couldn't help but raise her eyebrows and give a questioning smile at the scene before her. Nick's hair was still half-wet and looked crazy from the quick towel-dry that he'd inflicted on it. He was wearing jeans and nothing else. His exposed, muscular chest was damp from the shower. Andy guessed from Nick's appearance, and his Kramer-like arrival in the doorway, that he hadn't been expecting her.

"_Hey." _Nick finally said, looking at her in the eyes for the first time since the shooting.

"_Hi." _Andy replied awkwardly.

Nick stepped backwards, letting the door fall open further. He gestured for Andy to come in.

As she walked through the door into the apartment, he turned around and quickly pulled his hoodie over his head. Not wanting to make the exchange any more uncomfortable than it had to be.

When he turned Andy saw his bruised back.

"_Oh my God Nick. What happened?" _Andy demanded as she reached out and gingerly inspected his skin with her fingertips.

Nick abruptly stepped away. He jerked the sweatshirt down to his waist then turned to face her.

"_Just a tough arrest. I'm fine."_

Andy locked on to his gaze, trying to figure out if he was telling the truth.

Then, after a long pause, Nick gestured to a couple of boxes by the door. "_There's your stuff." _

Andy looked over at the boxes, then back at Nick. She started the speech that Nick had been dreading every day since she had first kissed him outside her apartment.

"_Nick... I'm sorry... it's just that Sam..."_

Nick raised his hand to stop her. "_Andy, please don't. I know what you are going to say... I always knew this would happen one way or another. You and Sam... I never really stood a chance. I know that."_

Andy looked at him with such pity. _"I'm sorry Nick."_

Nick couldn't stand to see her look at him that way. He broke eye contact and stared down at the floor uncomfortably.

"_It's okay Andy," _Nick replied.

After a long pause, he continued,_ "deep down, I always knew that I would lose you. It was the one thing that I knew for sure. But, we were happy together. Really happy... Weren't we? I didn't expect to feel as loved by you as I did. No drama. No bullshit. Honesty, friendship, chemistry."_

He took another long pause and finally continued, "_That's the only thing that makes me mad. Mad at myself, really. The one thing that I had. The one protection that I had... the knowledge that you would always choose Sam... I lost it. I fell in love with us. I should have known better. So, don't be sorry Andy. I'm not sure that it ever could have turned out differently."_

He finally looked up from the floor and met her gaze. Like his, her eyes were filled with tears.

After a moment, he took in a deep breath and gave her a small smile... _"Andy, speaking as your break-up buddy, please just be careful."_

Andy started to say something, but Nick interrupted.

"_Just let me say this and I swear I'll never bring up the topic of you and Sam again." _

He paused and she nodded.

So, he continued_ "I know you think he is the love of your life. But, he has broken your heart before. You are fearless and real. You're open and not afraid to dig into your feelings. He couldn't handle that before. If that happens again, please don't change who you are, just so that he can handle it. You deserve the chance to be you."_

Andy nodded, as tears streamed down her face. She walked over to him and brushed the tears off his cheeks with her fingertips. "_Nick, thank you. I wouldn't have made it through this last year without you. And, you were right... we were happy." _

"_Do you think in another life it could have been us? That it could have been our story?"_

"_Yes, I do." _ Andy smiled through her tears.

Nick leaned forward and kissed her cheek softly. His dark stubble brushed her skin, bringing back memories of all the kisses they had undercover. He smelled so familiar, especially being fresh from the shower. Pine and peppermint. For a moment she was intoxicated. She wrapped her arms around his waist for a friendly hug. Unconsciously, her right hand drifted under his hoodie and slid up his lower back. Warm, soft skin over lean muscle. Caught up in the moment, she kissed him on the lips, biting his lower lip slightly.

The kiss caught them both off guard. She stepped back, eyes as wide as saucers.

After Nick had a moment to recover, he gestured to the boxes "So... ah... do you need help getting those down to the car"

"Ummm... yeah. Thanks."

As Andy drove away, Nick ran his thumb across his lower lip, still puzzled by her unexpected kiss. Maybe, if he was patient, there would be more to their story after all.


End file.
